Special
by Misaki Sakura
Summary: COMPLETE! A triangle love between Ayachan, Ran, and Ken. Whom will Ken be with?
1. Default Chapter

Disclaimer : I do not own Weiss. If I did, I wouldn't make them like they are in Gluhen but I don't own them. Summary : A triangle love between Ken, Ran, and Aya-chan. Who will Ken be with? A/N : Thank's to all the reviewers for Summer Vacation. I hope you'll enjoy this story too. Anyway this is a PWP, so no killing involved.  
  
(*****) the change of POV  
Special  
By Misaki Sakura  
  
Chapter 1 : Introduction  
  
He runs across the school field, tugging his soccer ball under his arm. I can see him from the window of the Kendo club very clearly. And somehow I find it interesting just to look at him like this. I do this every day and I can't stop. I don't know why. Maybe this is some kind of addiction. Yes, I'm addicted to Hidaka Ken, my own sister's soccer coach.  
  
We moved from Hokkaido two years ago, leaving our parents there to live in Tokyo. Aya, my sister, goes to this school, Koua Gakuen(1), as a second grade student while I work here as a coach for the Kendo club. It's not like I'm the master in Kendo but I like this sport. Well, that's if you call that a sport. I don't care anyway.  
  
Then one day, suddenly my sister decided to join the soccer club as a manager. I felt it's weird because she never liked soccer before and she never watched one bloody game, not to mention that she didn't know the rules. Then why did she want to join the club? Even as a manager it's still strange. But she succeeded in assuring me that she is now attracted to soccer. Well, I didn't believe her the least but it's Aya we're talking about and she is my weakness. I can't resist her.  
  
I personally came to meet the coach a week after that. That's after I talked with Aya about it. She didn't like the idea about me meeting him like that. She said that I treated her like a small kid. But I can't help it. I'm responsible for her safety and I love my sister very much. I'm an overprotective brother, she always says.  
  
Anyway, I managed to find him in the park 'cause Aya said that if I wanted to meet him, I couldn't meet him at school. If anyone saw it, she would be teased all through her years in there. I tried to do what she wanted. You know, I can never resist Aya. So, as I said before, I met him at the park. He volunteers to coach a group of the neighbourhood kids every week there.  
  
He smiled to me even though I thought he didn't know me. He's younger than I thought. Nineteen years old and he has to work for living. He used to play for Tokyo team but has stopped playing since his best friend betrayed him by saying that he's a drug user. I don't know the details but I believe he didn't do it. I just don't know why. So he's out of the team. I think they sorta dump him after they thought he's useless. But soccer is his life and he can't leave it so he coaches anywhere he can.  
  
That's what he said when we first met. I didn't say anything but I heard every single thing he said, even when he thought that I didn't listen to him at all. He didn't seem discouraged. However, that's the first and the last time I ever talked to him. We work in the same place but we rarely see each other. That's probably because of our coaching time is at the same time or he doesn't want to see me.  
  
Somehow, I miss him. I miss seeing his smile, hearing his laugh, seeing him. Suddenly I realize that I love him. I fell in love to him on the first sight. The bright sunshine against the icy breeze. How contrast. That's why I decide to forget about it, about my feelings towards him. But then I find that I only want him more and more. Longing for him every day, just to see him. So I wait for Aya every day. They say that I'm a caring brother but actually I do it mainly because I want to see Ken longer.  
  
But he's not for me to have. He's Aya's now. At least that's what I think when I see his eyes when he looks at Aya. Full of care and concern and ... love. I know because that's how I see him. My heart aches. The person to whom I fall in love to is in love with my own sister. And I think that she likes him too or else why would she join the team from the beginning? I can't make Aya sad. That's why I have to feel this agony, this sadness ... alone.  
  
*****  
  
I feel that someone is watching me. As I turn around, I can't catch a glimpse of red and purple. Red and purple. That's achingly familiar to me. But I can't remember where I've seen them. I continue running towards my team on the field.  
  
"Ken-kun, you're late!" they chorus.  
  
"Aaa. Gomen, minna. I, uh, kinda overslept. But I'll make it up to you guys later. Now let's practice for the next week's game." I clap my hands in apology.  
  
"No, Honda. You have to watch the ball closely or else you can't catch it."  
  
"Fujisaki, this is not a rugby game. Don't tackle him."  
  
"Suzuki, you play good today. Keep it up."  
  
After a long practice (two and a half hour to be exact), I find my team is completely exhausted. I know that they want to win the game next week but I don't want them to force their selves. That's why I always make them stop at this point even though they're mad at me to stop them.  
  
"Okay, minna-san. I'll treat you ramen for today."  
  
Aya gives Suzuki his towel and approaches me. "You did good today, Ken-kun."  
  
"Uh ... I ..." Damn it! Why do I have to lose my voice in front of Aya? She is a cute girl and I like her, a lot. She is still waiting for my answer so I try to form words. Luckily this mouth can cooperate with me.  
  
"Th ... thank you, Aya-chan."  
  
She nods at me and smiles. This blue haired girl is really nice. His hair is tied in a loose ponytail. That even makes her cuter. I find myself blush again.  
  
"You ... you did well too, Aya-chan. Is manager's work too hard for you?"  
"Iie. I'm fine. I enjoy this so much, Ken-kun!"  
  
"Aya ..." a deep voice is heard. Aya's brother's voice, Ran. He is in his black shirt and jeans. I wonder why he likes to wear black. It looks like he's mourning, right? I want to ask him but I'm not that close to him. I never, well, actually talk to him. Every time I meet him, either I greet him first or he doesn't seem to acknowledge my presence.  
  
That time at the park? That was barely called a conversation. It's more like I was talking alone with a wall. Maybe that's much better. He didn't respond me at all. Actually, I don't think he heard me from the beginning. He only came to speak to me about Aya joining the club. Just that. I have never seen a person like this before. So cold. I can shiver near him due to the coldness.  
  
"Chotto matte, ne, nii-chan." Then she runs to the bench near the tree to take her bag. I sigh. Now she leaves me alone with this popsicle.  
  
"Good evening, Fujimiya-san."  
  
"Good evening, Hidaka-san."  
  
Silence. Gah! I don't know what to say and I bet he doesn't want me to say anything the least. He is worse than I imagined. Wonder how Aya copes with this icicle when she is ... like sunshine? Aya is a warm sunlight in the spring while Ran ... he is an ice statue in the winter. They have so many differences.  
  
Okay, I can't stand it anymore. Being near him is useless. I tell him that I need to pack my things before I leave him standing there to run towards Aya. She gives me the report for today's practice. I ponder over it a bit and then put it inside my back next to hers.  
  
"Thank's, oh, and don't forget to check the time for next week's game."  
  
"Gotcha. Sorry, I have to go. I can't join you for the treat. Good bye, Ken-kun!" she smiles at me and runs to her brother. He nods at me before he takes Aya to his Porche. I let out another sigh.  
  
"Ne, coach, are you done yet?"  
"Yes, Fujisaki. Let's go."  
  
*****  
  
"Ken-kun is nice."  
  
Aya stares at me, something glints in her eyes. I nod in agreement before I return my attention back to the road. She mutters something and continues.  
  
"He is diligent too."  
  
I nod again. She eyes me incredulously. "What are you getting at, Aya?" I finally say.  
  
"Nii-chan, you like him."  
  
I almost hit the car in front of me, hearing her saying that. I slam on the brakes and look at her completely. "Aya, what do you mean?"  
  
"I mean you like Ken-kun. No, love him to be exact."  
  
"That's not ..."  
  
"True? Aw, come on, nii-chan. You can fool anyone but you can't fool me. I notice how much you want him. Admit it, nii-chan."  
  
"I have nothing to say."  
  
"Yeah, of course. Cause you love him."  
  
"Aya, I'm not in love with him. And that's that."  
  
"Hmm. Do you want me to tell you that you're a cheap liar?"  
  
"Aya!"  
  
"Nii-chan, I heard you say that you loved him."  
  
"When?!" my tone sounds a bit frustrated right now.  
  
"Last Christmas, when you chug down those bottles of Eggnog."  
  
"I was drunk. That didn't mean anything. And you're the one who made me drunk."  
  
"Yeah, I know. I intentionally did that." When I give her a sharp look, she grins, "And I don't think I need to mention the 'things' you said you wanna do to him." She giggles.  
  
"Aya! I am not in love with Ken!!" I don't realize I use his given name. I hope Aya lets this slips but not.  
  
"Now you call him Ken. That's so sweet."  
  
"Aya, stop it!"  
  
She shakes her head at my stubbornness. "When will you ever learn, nii-chan, that hiding your emotion is useless? You'll only ..."  
  
"I'm content with it. Now, please stop it, Aya."  
  
"Okay." She folds her hands and locks her lips, pouts to say the least. That's much better. Without her curious question, even though I can't say that questions, my head is already preoccupied by Ken.  
  
*****  
  
I throw my bag onto the floor and start taking off my shoes. Damn, they were so ... I think they were taking advantage from me cause I haven't seen Honda ate that much. And do you believe that Fujisaki can eat three bowls of ramen, the giant ones?! I've used all my salary for this month. What will I have to eat?!  
  
The red button on my answering machine is beeping. Well, that's odd. No one ever calls me when I'm coaching cause the ones that have higher possibility to call me are the school keepers or teachers or ... the head master.  
  
I push the button and am about to strip my clothes off when I recognize the voice. It's a short one but ...  
  
"Ken, I'm coming back. Pick me up."  
  
******* TBC *******  
  
A/N : There. How's it? Is it good? Or bad? Or worse? Please tell me what you think. Oh, and please forgive me cause Ran will be completely OOC in this story. Gomen. 


	2. Return

(*****) the change of POV  
Special  
By Misaki Sakura  
  
Chapter 2 : Return  
  
I can't recall that I slept well last night. Instead, I keep feeling my head's throbbing. What had actually ha ...  
  
"Yo! Ohayou, Kenken!"  
  
I wipe my blurry eyes and focus on the figure who's now leaning against the doorframe. Though I don't need to do that to recognize him.  
  
"What are you doing here, Youji? Shit, my head hurts!"  
  
"Let's see," Youji answers mischievously, "you picked me up from the airport last night and since you're whining ..."  
  
"I did not!"  
  
Youji acts like I didn't say anything and continues, "So I suggested to go to the bar. But, you got too excited and got yourself drunk and got into a fight and me having to take you home."  
  
I hold my head as the words start to sink in. Was I whining? About what? Did I say something about ...  
  
"And when you blabbered last night, I heard you saying a girl's name. Was it ... Aya?"  
  
"Youji!!" I can't help myself but to blush and this makes Youji teases me more.  
  
"Aw, our little Kenken is in love with a girl."  
  
"Shut up."  
  
"Is she pretty? How old? A high school teacher? Or ... a student? Either way, it's good."  
"Youji, shut ... up ... Don't you have a hangover or something?! How can you be so ... refreshed?!  
  
"You know me."  
  
"Yeah, right. Now, get out of my room!"  
  
He laughs and leaves me alone. Great, this is sooo great! Now, he knows and I'll be his toy to tease this whole week. Sighing desperately, I take my clothes and make my way to the bathroom. Then I stop, an idea come across my mind.  
  
*****  
  
I decide to take a walk to the park alone before I go to the Gakuen. I used to do it in Hokkaido but since I came here, never once I did that. I feel like something's missing.  
  
There are some old people who walk with their spouses or just sit there, knitting, reading books. Of course, at 9 a.m. like right now, almost all people are working or at school. But that's what makes it feel quiet for me and I like it. Suddenly, I hear voices behind the bushes. One of them is extremely familiar to me. Actually, it's been haunting me lately. I can't stand the curiousity and peek at them.  
  
"Why do you force me to come here, Kenken?" A brunette with sunglasses and a cigarette stuck between his lips. He's sitting beside Ken.  
  
"Cause you let me drunk last night. So, you have to accompany me this morning." Ken takes the cigarette from the brunette's mouth and crushes it with his foot, ignoring the protests from him.  
  
"What do you want to do? Jog? At this time?" he asks lazily.  
  
"Why not? It's because of you that I overslept. Now stop making excuses and jog with me, Yotan." He pulls him up.  
  
"Fine, fine. I'll go with you."  
  
Then, they go. I am stunned. Seeing Ken with another person ... I don't know what relationship they have and I can't possibly assume anything only by hearing their short conversation but still ... I feel my heart aches. I drop myself onto the ground.  
  
I don't know how long I've been sitting here, thinking about nothing other than Ken and that man. I wonder who he was. A friend ... family? But I heard Ken only has one sister and one little brother. Of course that man was too old to be called his younger brother. Finally I decide that sitting there is useless and help myself to walk home, preparing to go to the Gakuen.  
  
When I pass the ice cream shop, I hear someone calling me.  
  
"Fujimiya-san!"  
  
I turn to see Ken, and him, with a chocolate ice cream in his hand. Strawberry in the other, handing it to the brunette. I snort and continue my walk when he calls out again.  
  
"Wait, Fujimiya-san! Wanna join us?"  
  
"No. I have to go home." I answer without even picking a glance at him. I can barely hear what the taller man asks him and also can't hear him answering. I don't want to care anymore. But ... can I?  
  
As I sit on the couch in my empty apartment, I finally realize that I am jealous. I get jealous over him. Because I love him so much. Why? I don't know. Does he need an excuse? Cause I don't. It feels so natural. So right for me to fall for him. How couldn't I when he's so cute and I can't take my eyes off of him?  
  
I glance at the clock on the table. 10:30 a.m. Maybe it's a bit too early to go to the gakuen. As I close my eyes, I can feel that sleepiness takes the better of me and I fall into deep slumber.  
  
It's already 2 p.m. when I finally open my eyes and realize that I'm terribly late. I grab my bag and burst out of my apartment.  
  
*****  
  
"So, is this Kudou Youji-san, Hidaka-san?"  
  
"Yes, Headmaster."  
  
"Fine. Kudou-san, you know your duties, I supposed. Now, Hidaka-san, please take Kudou-san to the infirmary."  
  
"Yes, Sir. Excuse us."  
  
Out of the headmaster's room, Youji whispers to me, "I think I get the job."  
  
"Yes, you get the job. But I have to warn you. No flirting! You're an infirmary teacher(1) and if anything happens, I'll be the one to blame cause I brought you here."  
  
"I know. Trust me, Kenken. So, where's the infirmary?"  
  
"Oh, Yotan. Come on."  
  
Youji snickers and winds his arm around me, just in time when Ran arrives behind us to see this scene. It's actually nothing to me but somehow seeing his expression makes me feels some tingling feeling in my heart. I start to let go of myself from Youji.  
  
Suddenly, Youji gives me and Ran a wide grin. "Kenken, let's go. You said you wanted to show me where the infirmary is." He says with his arm around my waist.  
  
"What are you doing, Yotan?"  
  
"Trust me, Ken."  
  
He drags me, leaving a scowling Ran behind. Is that a scowl I see on his face? Why does he look like that? Did Youji do something that makes him mad? I don't think so. They just met this morning. Oh, and I forgot to introduce him to Youji.  
  
I open the infirmary room's door and yank Youji's wrist. "What were you doing?"  
  
"That person ... I think he has a thing for you."  
  
"What?!"  
  
"Yeah. From the looks of it, I think he's jealous."  
  
"Wait. Are you saying that Fujimiya-san has ... a feeling for me."  
  
He nods. "You don't know? Kenken, how can you be so dense?"  
  
"Shut up. But, Yotan ..."  
  
"What?"  
  
"He's Aya's elder brother. Why would he feel that for me?"  
  
"Aya? The girl you like?"  
  
"Yeah. Maybe he doesn't like me to get close with anyone because he knows that I like his sister."  
  
"That's not what I saw in his eyes."  
  
"What? Suddenly you're an expert in this thing?" I say sarcastically.  
  
"That's what he usually does when he sees me with another woman."  
  
"Oh, him. Say, you told him that you're here, right? I mean ... by the looks of it, you're ..."  
  
"Arguing. Yeah. Maybe that's my fault. I shouldn't have said that I had brought my date home."  
  
"You did what?!"  
  
"I brought my date home, baka. He's totally pissed off. I've never seen him like that. He shoved my date outside and threw my things out."  
  
"I'd do the same thing if I were him. Yotan, did you apologize?"  
  
Youji shakes his head. "No, he hung up every time I called him. That's why I think I need another change, so I came here."  
"Are you trying to run from your problems?"  
  
"No! I need to clear my mind and prepare myself to apologize to him. As nice as he is, you don't have any idea what disaster will happen when he's pissed."  
  
"And I bet he does that often."  
  
"How'd you know?"  
  
"No wonder. Having a lover like you is hard, Yotan."  
  
*****  
  
"No wonder. Having a lover like you is hard, Yotan."  
  
I stop when I heard him said that. Lovers ... are they ... but Ken's in love with Aya. I don't think that Ken is the type that can easily play with someone's feeling like that. Though unintentionally he has played with my feelings. I knock the infirmary door and open it slightly.  
  
"Who ... oh, Fujimiya-san."  
  
"Hi! Fujimiya-san. My name is Kudou Youji. Nice to meet you." That taller man offering me his hand. I shake his hand and reply curtly.  
  
"Fujimiya Ran."  
  
"Ne, Fujimiya-san, what are you doing here?"  
  
"Aya-chan asked me to call you. The practice ..."  
  
"Oh, yeah. Yotan, I'll go first. Ja na. Thank's Fujimiya-san."  
  
Ken runs out, taking his bag with him. That leaves me alone with this man, Kudou. I sigh and drag myself to the door when I hear him calls me.  
  
"Fujimiya-san, you only want to see what Ken and I did, right? That's actually the reason why you came."  
  
"I don't know what you're talking about."  
  
"You know what exactly I'm talking about. Fujimiya-san, I'm sorry but I have to tell you. Ken's off-limit."  
  
"I know."  
  
******* TBC *******  
  
A/N : Thank you very much for the reviews! I love them! I'm sorry but there'll be a bit change in that story, about Ken being a cat and all. He's still an experiment but they're in the medieval era (sorta) and they worked as crusaders. Fantasy. Maybe I'm a little too much playing RPG games. Anyway, I appreciate your ideas. Thank's for the title! 


	3. Desperation

(*****) the change of POV  
Special  
By Misaki Sakura  
  
Chapter 3 : Desperation  
  
It's been three weeks since the arrival of that Kudou person and everything seems to get worse and worse. I don't know what he's thinking but it seems like he likes to show their closeness to anyone. Especially me. Considering that he knows my feelings for Ken, I think that he's mocking me.  
  
Now, sitting alone on the bench under the tree behind the schoolyard, I start pitying myself. There's no need for me to love someone again. Oh, yes, I had loved someone other than my family. I don't want to mention her name again. She came into my life, ruining it and left after I told her I was in love with her. No luck for me in love, I've known it all along. Then why do I bother falling in love again?  
  
One said that love comes without control. You can't control it or deny it. Maybe ... maybe that's right. Actually that can describe what I'm feeling right now. I can't control my feeling for that adorable brunette though I know that he'll never accept me.  
  
"Ken ..." I whisper his name quietly.  
  
"What is it, Fujimiya-san?"  
  
I snap my head up hearing the unexpected response from him. How long he'd been here?  
  
"How long have you been here?"  
  
"Not too long but long enough to know that you're daydreaming." He sits beside me. I can't see Kudou around. Where is he?  
  
"Who are you looking for?"  
  
"...Kudou."  
  
"Oh, he's not here. Too busy flirting with the teachers maybe."  
  
"Eh, what did you say, Hidaka-san?"  
  
"Nothing. Why are you calling me Hidaka-san again?! You called me Ken before."  
  
"Sorry."  
  
"Nothing to be sorry about. Man, why do you have to be sorry for? Anyway, since you're calling me by my surname, let me call you by your surname too. Is that okay with you, Ran?"  
  
Hearing him calling my name instead of 'Fujimiya-san' makes me feel somewhat ... happy. It can be caused by the closeness in his voice but whatever it is, I still feel happy.  
  
"Anou ... Ran, how's Aya? I heard she has a headache and can't come today."  
  
So, he talks to me to get information about Aya. Every thing's for Aya. There's nothing about me that he concerns for, nothing. I can't blame him but I can help myself but to glare at him and answer with an icy tone.  
  
"She'll be fine." I get up and start to live when I feel a grip on my wrist. Ken's.  
  
"Ran, do you hate me? Why do you always seem to be mad at me?"  
  
I yank my hand out of his grip and walk away without saying anything. Probably that's the best. For me, him, and Aya. But I still feel uneasy. Who's that Kudou actually? How can he be that close to Ken?  
  
*****  
  
I stare at his back as he walks away, leaving me alone. Why does he have to be so cold to me? I can't remember if I've done something that pissed him off. He has no right to be that unpleasant at me.  
  
"Kenken, what are you doing here?"  
  
"I think that question supposedly goes back to you. What are you doing here, Yotan?"  
  
"It's not polite to ask question to someone when you haven't answered his."  
  
"Fine. I was just wondering if Ran was feeling unwell, so I approached him. We ... talked for a while, then when I changed the topic to his sister, he left me here."  
  
"I don't think speaking about his sister is a good idea."  
  
"And why is that?"  
  
He stares at me, making me feel very uneasy. "What?!"  
  
He sighs. "You'd better not to talk about her in front of him, not when he knows that you like her."  
  
"He ... knows? What do you mean that he knows?"  
  
"From what I see, Fujimiya is not stupid. He'll know that of course. And since you know that he likes you, it wouldn't be good to talk about her."  
  
"Are you still thinking that Fujimiya Ran has a thing for me? Yotan, that's ridiculous! I don't want to talk about this anymore."  
  
I start to walk away when he says, "You'll see."  
  
I grunt and leave him.  
  
*****  
I reach home just in time to make dinner for Aya. I see another pair of shoes that I don't know but I think that's only Aya's friend. I don't notice that they're boys' shoes. "Tadaima."  
  
"Okaeri nasai, nii-chan. I'm in the kitchen." She replies.  
  
"In the kitchen? But you're not feeling ... well ... yet ..." I stop when I see her in the kitchen.  
  
It wouldn't be shocking if I only saw her alone but I shock me when I see a boy's cooking and Aya sits at the table, grinning widely at me. That boy turns around and gives me a sheepish smile.  
  
"Good evening, Fujimiya-sensei."  
  
That boy is one of the members of the soccer team. Ken's soccer team. "Who are you?"  
  
"I am Suzuki Touma. Nice to meet you."  
  
"Nice ... to meet you too."  
  
With that, I pull Aya out of the room. "What's this?"  
  
"I'm introducing my koibito to you, onii-chan."  
  
"Koi ... bito?" Aya's koibito?!  
  
"Yes. He's the reason why I join the soccer team. We're in the same class last year and I like him."  
  
"Do ... do Ken know about this?" that's a really stupid question but I can't help myself but to ask.  
  
"Of course not. I don't want anyone else to know before you, nii- chan. You're the first person I tell about this."  
  
"Aya ... Aya, do you know that ... Ken likes you?"  
"Ken-kun ... what?"  
  
"He likes you, Aya."  
  
"... Is that the reason why you never told him about your feeling?"  
  
"...One of them."  
  
"But ... I think of him only as a brother, nothing else."  
  
"Aya, ... it's okay. You can be with whoever you want to be with. I'll support you. But what about Ken? Do you want to tell him this?"  
  
"You know ... I can't. I don't want to see his sad face. Anyway, he never told me about it. I can't possibly tell him just like that."  
  
"So ... you'll let the others tell him?"  
  
"I want you to tell him."  
  
"What?! Aya, I can't! ... I can't."  
  
"Why?"  
  
"I don't want to see him ... sad ..."  
  
Aya smiles at me bitterly. "He'll know sooner or later, nii-chan."  
  
I frown a bit. Taking my car keys, I slam the door behind me.  
  
I don't know what I'm thinking as I drive my car to the bar's parking spot. Maybe I'm desperate. I've never felt like this before. The image of Ken starts floating in my mind and his voice echoes in my ears.  
  
"Anou ... Ran, how's Aya? I heard she has a headache and can't come today."  
  
Aya, Aya, that's all he thinks about. He never thinks about me and never will. I think I have accepted this fact long ago, so why I am still feeling this?!  
  
Then ... Aya's koibito. How will Ken take this? With anger? Defeat? Rage? Either way, he'll still be sad. But there's that Kudou. He'll help him. Why him and not me? It's simple. Cause I'm too coward to do it. The fear of being rejected is too great.  
  
I enter the bar and sit in front of the bartender, ordering some bottles of beer. I want to be completely spent tonight without anymore thinking about Ken or Aya or her boyfriend. The bartender looks at me unsurely but gives me my orders right away. After the third bottle, I swipe my eyes to the other side of the bar and see someone who's extremely familiar to me. He's laughing with some ... women, arms winding their shoulders. There, in all his glory, is Kudou Youji.  
  
******* TBC *******  
  
A/N : Saa! This is the third chapter. I'm so happy for the reviews. They're what keep me doing this. You think Ran is not OOC? I personally think that way. But I think he'll be like that when he's jealous. Anyway, feel free to review. And 'something' is going to happen in the next chapter. Please keep reading. Thank's! 


	4. Feelings

() the change of POV  
Special  
By Misaki Sakura  
  
Chapter 4 : Feelings  
  
I'm standing in front of Ken's apartment, gesturing to knock on the door instead of ringing the ball. I'm too mad (plus a bit drunk) to even recall that there's a bell. When I saw that Kudou, I couldn't hold my rage, so I walked there and grabbed his collar before punching him.  
  
He's too surprised by my attack to respond. I yelled at him even though I can't remember what I said. After a while, he punched back at me. Soon, we were engaged in a fistfight until the bouncers separated us. I didn't want to go home. Instead, I felt the urge to see Ken as soon as possible. What for, I'm not sure.  
  
I hear the door's being opened and Ken's head plopped behind it.  
  
"Ran?" he opens the door wide now. "What are you doing here this late? Come in."  
  
I step in his apartment. It's not clean if you don't want to say this as havoc. He quickly grabs the clothes that are scattered all over the floor.  
  
"Sorry, this place's not ... yeah well, you know ..." he throws them into the bathroom and sits across me.  
  
"So what brings you here?"  
  
"Can't I come here?"  
  
"No, it's not that. Don't get it all wrong. I mean, you never came here before. What makes you ..."  
  
"Do you know that your ... Kudou is having an affair behind you?"  
  
"Affair? What do you mean by that?"  
  
"I saw him at the bar with some ... women ... and ..."  
  
"Oh. So he did." His face falls.  
  
I wait for him to say something but he doesn't seem want to open his mouth. We just sit there in silence. No one says anything or moves. I watch him very closely, try to say something to calm him down but no words come out.  
  
"Ran, why did you tell me about this?"  
  
"I ..." what do I have to say? That I don't want to see him being hurt more than this? What would he do if I said that? Would he ...  
  
"Ran, why?" he repeats his question. Yet, I still don't know what to say.  
  
"Ran?"  
  
"Cause ... I don't want to see you ... hurt."  
  
He stares at me wide eyed. I can't believe those words slip from my mouth too easily. He blushes and looks away. Still, he looks so cute.  
  
"Why ... why do you think that it'll hurt me?"  
  
"... you're on this relationship with ... that Kudou ..."  
  
"Relationship? What do you mean? Do you think that I ... with Youji ...? That's ... not true!"  
  
"It's okay, Ken. You don't have to hide it."  
  
"No. Really, Ran. Me and Youji ... that's ridiculous. Why would I want to be with him?! I ... "  
  
"Oh, ... sorry then." I feel relieved when I heard that. He's not Kudou's boyfriend. That's ... good. But Aya ... How will I tell him about Aya?  
  
"Anou, Ran ... does Aya think that I ..."  
  
"No." I reply harshly.  
  
I don't like he speaks about Aya in front of me. Then my eyes start to blur. I grab the hand of the couch to keep me stable.  
  
"Are you okay, Ran?" he holds me. "You're drunk. I'll call Aya to ..."  
  
"Aya, Aya, that's all you've been thinking about." My voice comes out too harsh, even for me. He's stunned when my hand catches his wrist. "You never think that maybe someone's in love with you too, huh?"  
  
"Ra ..."  
  
I silence him with my lips. He gasps and uses all his strength to push me away but there's no way in hell I'm going to let him do that. I pounce him unto the couch and tear his clothes off.  
  
I sit at the end of the couch, choking back sobs. Silently I peek a glance at Ran. He's putting his clothes on while I shiver, noticing my own on the floor. Needless to say, he ... he ... I never expected that he would do something like ... this! I never thought that Youji's right! But I don't know what kind of feeling that he has for me actually.  
  
He stares at me, realizing that I'm looking at him. I bite my lower lip until I feel that it's bleeding.  
  
"Ken, I ..."  
  
"Get ... out ..." I manage to croak those words out. He looks at me. His eyes are full with ... hurt, guilt...  
  
"I'm sorry..." he whispers and leaves me alone in my apartment. I burst out in tears in no time.  
  
"Get ... out ..."  
  
One phrase, one short phrase but they tear my heart greatly. I know I deserve that. What evil made me did what I did last night to him? I never lost control before. Why did I do that?  
  
I stand in front of his apartment, wondering if this is the right thing to do. Leaving him alone is not a good idea. He might ... I don't want to think about it. He's not going to ... commit suicide, is he? He's tough. He'll ... What am I doing? Trying to ease my guilt? When I'm supposed to ease his despair that I caused?!  
  
"What are you doing here, Fujimiya?" Youji's not-to-friendly voice can be heard behind me.  
  
"Nothing."  
  
I leave him. He'll calm Ken down. The thing that I'm responsible for ... but I don't think that Ken would want to see me.  
  
I reach home at 7 a.m. Aya's waiting for me. "What were you doing?! I called your phone but you left it here. I couldn't contact you all night!"  
  
"I'm sorry, Aya. I'm too tired. Can we talk tomorrow?"  
  
"Tomorrow?! Nii-chan, it's 7 a.m. already!!"  
  
"Later. Please, Aya. I don't want to discuss it."  
  
I let the strain in my voice heard. Aya knows very well that it'll be better not to speak to me when I'm in a tired condition or bad mood.  
  
"Okay, nii-chan. We'll talk later." She waits for me until I'm finished taking of my shoes then she gives me a cup of tea. I always drink tea every morning but I'm not in the mood today. I try to turn down her offer but she pouts. I can't bear seeing her pouting so I take the cup into my room after promising that I'll drink it later.  
  
I realize that if I'm left alone, I'm going to think about him over and over again but I can't help it. What is he doing? Why did I do that? Why?! How will I face him?!  
  
I have been curling up on my bed for almost two hours. When Youji saw me on the floor earlier and all the scattered remaining of my clothes, he immediately knew what'd happened. Gritting his teeth, he helped me to go into my room and make me a cup of hot chocolate to calm me down. I turned down his offer to accompany me though. I want to be alone.  
  
"I can't believe you ... did that ..." I say to no one in particular but actually aimed for ... Ran.  
  
It's not like him. That person who ... it was not the same Ran I know ... or that I think I know. I touch my lips briefly. The way his lips lingered upon mine ... what am I thinking?! I'm not supposed to think about it!! It's not like that I like him!! I like Aya!! What happened?! What's happening to me?!  
  
I decide that being here alone in my room, grieving over what happened won't do any good to me, so I fetch up my clothes and get prepared to go to work. Youji is lounging in his seat when I barge into the room. He looks at me, at my bag, before finally his eyes return to look at me.  
  
"Youji, are you coming?"  
  
"What are you doing, Ken? Do you want to go to Koua?"  
  
"Yes. Are you coming?" I repeat my question. He shrugs and goes into his room for changing.  
  
I stare at the door with the Kendo Club's name on it, our dojo. It's 9 a.m. and I am already in my practice outfit. I need something that can stop me from thinking too much ... about anything. Aya is so persistent in forcing me to tell her. How can I tell her?! Sighing, I open the door and get ready for practicing.  
  
After the fourth hours I'm here, I'm exhausted. My mind starts to wander. What's he doing now? How's he feeling? Will he ever talk to me again? I know the answer is no but still ... I don't think I can endure it.  
  
"So you're here, Fujimiya-san."  
  
I turn around to see Kudou leaning against the door. He's the last person I want to see. I growl. "What do you want?!"  
  
"Why did you do that?"  
  
"Do what?"  
  
"Why did you do what you did to Ken? Didn't I tell you that he's off- limits?!"  
  
"I believe you did." I continue my practice session without even looking at him.  
  
"So? What made you ..."  
  
"You want me to tell you?! Fine!" I throw my wooden katana down forcefully. "I'll tell you why!"  
  
He's still standing still in his position, not even blinking. Lips smirk in amusement for being able to provoke me. I hate it.  
  
"Because what he always thinks about is Aya!! Because he never thinks about me!! Because I love him!!"  
  
Then I hear something suspiciously sounds like a gasp behind Youji. Ken.  
  
TBC   
  
A/N : What do you think? Actually, I don't think that Ran'll do  
something like that but ... I can't describe the scene but you know  
what I mean. Anyway, please tell me it's good or bad. I'll be waiting.  
( 


	5. Truth

() the change of POV  
Special  
By Misaki Sakura  
  
Chapter 5 : Truth  
  
The first sight that catches my eyes is Ran walking into the dojo when I am taking out my ball from my bag. Shit! I come here to avoid him ... well that wasn't a good idea since we're working at the same school, but I thought this is too early for him to come. Maybe he has the same thinking with me.  
  
"It's him."  
  
"Yeah, I know." I try to hide my feeling as I continue my preparation. Youji stands there, watching me.  
  
"What are you gonna do?"  
  
"About?"  
  
"Him. Are you going to keep avoiding him or confronting him?"  
  
The ball's dropped from my hand. I look at him, shocked. "Confront him?! No!"  
  
"Why?"  
  
"Cause ... cause ... I don't want to see him. Not now."  
  
Sighing, he picks the ball I dropped before. "This is not going to finish if you don't speak with him. Sooner the better."  
  
"It's easy for you to say!" I snap at him.  
  
"I don't want you to regret this later, Ken."  
  
"What do you mean by that?"  
"Nothing."  
  
"Fine."  
  
I kick my ball. As I dribble it to the goal, I glance at the dojo's window. The sight startled me. Ran's practicing with his katana. Not that I haven't seen him do that before but this time it feels ... weird. The way he moves his katana, swinging it around gracefully ... I blush.  
  
"Why do I have to blush?" I say incoherently.  
  
Youji's grinning at me. I know he has followed my gaze and known who has made me blush. I intend to yell at him but it will attract Ran's attention ... or whoever near us so I grit my teeth and keep my mouth shut. I'll deal with him later.  
  
I don't know how many hours I've been practicing until I notice that Youji's nowhere to be seen. It's not that strange actually but somehow I get this uneasy feeling and decide to look for him.  
  
"Where's that stupid Youji?! He's not hitting with the teachers, right?!"  
  
I catch a glimpse of red hair from the dojo's window. He's still the ... oh my God! What is Youji's doing there?! Ran's face is getting redder and from the look of his eyes, he can kill Youji anytime soon.  
  
I dash there as fast as I can. Even now, I don't know which one that makes me run there. The thought of Youji being killed, or at least hit, or the thought of seeing Ran.  
  
I still can't figure out the answer when I finally reach Youji. "Youji, what are you ..." I hiss.  
  
"Shush!"  
  
I hear a loud sound as he throws his wooden katana down. I close my eyes tightly at that. But I'm not prepared for what I'm gonna hear next. "Because what he always thinks about is Aya!! Because he never thinks about me!! Because I love him!!"  
  
I gasp. It doesn't cross my mind that Ran will know my presence right now. All that's in my head is his words. Love me? He loves me? How could he love me?! I'm just a clumsy pathetic ex-soccer player that unfortunately has fallen for his sister. What's in me that makes him think about me like that?  
  
"Ken ..."  
  
I am too stunned to react until Youji pinches my arm, which makes me scream. "What did you do that for?!"  
  
He doesn't answer me. Instead, he leaves, saying, "I'll leave this to you, Ken."  
  
Being left alone with Ran in here makes me feel really uncomfortable. How could I after what happened last night?! ... Or maybe this morning? Now what am I supposed to do? Run?  
  
I know that my fear must've shown in my eyes 'cause he looks at me with guilt and ... loss?  
  
"You don't have to be afraid of me like that, Ken."  
  
I step back as he steps closer to me. I bet he notices that and stops any further advance. Still, he looks at me. I can't talk to him, not now. I don't want to. Why did Youji force me to do this? Why?! I can't even look at him! How am I supposed to confront him?! Youji and his stupid idea!  
  
"Ken, ... I'm sorry."  
  
"..."  
  
"I don't expect you to forgive me easily. I know. Still, I need to say that. And I mean everything I said to Youji. I am really in ..."  
  
"Stop!! Okay, I've heard enough of this!"  
I run as fast as I can. I don't want him to say that. I don't want to hear him saying those words. It feels so ... wrong. I love Aya and he knows that. Falling in love ... he has this feeling for me ... that's wrong! Absolutely wrong!  
  
Then I realize no matter how many times I chant them in my mind, I don't feel that it's wrong. What's happening to me?!  
  
Even though how much I want to run after him, I just stand there watching him running away from me. I don't think he liked me before but now I know he hates me. I pick my wooden katana and put it in my bag.  
  
"Nii-chan, you like him."  
  
"I mean you like Ken-kun. No, love him to be exact."  
  
Yes, Aya. You're right. I love him with all my heart. But I made a great mistake and he'll never forgive me. Never.  
  
It's been a month since that accident and I still can't look at him in the eyes. Not that I met him though. Come to think of it, I never saw him after that confrontation in the dojo ... the one I ran away from. Yeah, that one.  
  
I sit on the bench under the tree ... the one I saw Ran was sitting on not too long ago. Okay, I don't know what's happening to me but ... there's something strange. How can he affect me this much?  
  
"Ken-kun ..."  
  
"Wha ... Aya ..."  
  
She sits beside me, eyes full with concern. "What happened? You look down."  
"It's ... nothing ... really ..."  
  
Of course I can't tell her the cause of my lack of spirit is her brother. She's still looking at me. I know she doesn't believe me.  
  
"You can always talk to me, Ken-kun."  
  
"Thank's but it's really nothing."  
  
"Ken-kun, you sound like my nii-chan. He never let me know if he has a problem. He always thinks I'm still a little girl."  
  
I flinch when she mentions his name. Her nii-chan ...  
  
"But I know that he's right. I'm a girl after all ... and our parents had told him to look after me. Sometimes he's too serious for his own good."  
  
"Aaa ..."  
  
"Ne, Ken-kun ... I really don't want to trouble you but can you give me a lift today?"  
  
"... Ran?"  
  
"He catches a cold and is bedridden ... by me."  
  
I chuckle lightly. I don't want to refuse her but ... . Forget it. It won't hurt to accompany her home, will it? Anyway I can't let Aya takes a bus ride home. Ran will be worried sick. ... Wait! Why am I thinking about Ran? Am I ... worried about him?  
  
"Ken-kun ..."  
  
"Okay. Come on, Aya."  
  
I glance at the alarm clock on my side table. It's six o'clock already and Aya hasn't come home. Where's she? Does something happen? I have to pick her up.  
  
I am trying to get up when suddenly I feel another's presence in my room. Instinctively, I reach out for my katana when I hear his voice.  
  
"I'm sorry ... Ran. But Aya told me to ... check on you. Sorry if I wake you up."  
  
I can't say anything and I don't trust my mouth to speak so I keep my mouth shut. Ken. Ken is in my room. That Aya ... I lie down once more and feel a lot better than before.  
  
He shifts uncomfortably in his seat. Silence. An uncomfortable silence occurs between us, like always. Neither of us even bothers to open our mouth. I decide I have to be the one who make the first move. Not that starting a conversation is ever easy for me.  
  
But before I can say anything, he stands and grabs the mug on my side table. "I'll ... get you ... another glass of water. ... Excuse me."  
  
I can do nothing but nod.  
  
We arrive a little bit late since she had to wait for me putting all the balls in the storage. Plus the traffic ...  
  
"Thank you, Ken-kun. Why don't you join us for dinner?"  
  
"No, thank's. I have to go home or else Youji will be mad at me."  
  
That's a lie actually. It's true that he's worried about me especially after that accident but it doesn't make him waiting for me to come home. I told him not to. I don't want to be treated like an infant.  
  
"Please, Ken-kun."  
  
Like I've said before, I can't refuse Aya. ... Or is it because I desperately want to see Ran? Desperately? Where did that word come from?!  
  
"Okay, Aya."  
  
"Great! Oh, can you check on my nii-chan? I'll go preparing the dinner. His room is the second from the stairs." She says as she takes off her shoes and  
  
I can't say anything. If I refuse, she'll figure out that there's something wrong, so I make my move to the stairs. The second room from the stairs ... this must be it.  
  
I open the door and enter slowly, carefully not to wake him up. He's sleeping. His flaming hair's strewn about his face. He looks like an angel as the moon illuminates his face. Angel ...  
  
I sit on the chair beside his bed. Watching him carefully, I notice that he doesn't look like Aya that much. Blood-coloured hair matching the amethyst eyes ...  
  
He gets up suddenly, hand reaching out for something only to grasp the air. His katana ... Maybe he knows that I'm here.  
  
"I'm sorry ... Ran. But Aya told me to ... check on you. Sorry if I wake you up."  
  
He doesn't say anything and leans back against the pillow. I don't know what to say either. It's not like I haven't overcome my fear for him. ... Okay, I'm still a bit afraid of him but this is beside that point! I'm having this strange feeling whenever he's around. Not to mention this also makes me blush really hard, especially when we're alone like this.  
  
Finally, this silence becomes too overwhelming. I have to do something! I grab the mug on the table. "I'll ... get you ... another glass of water. ... Excuse me."  
I run out, nearly bumping the door in the process. On my way going downstairs, I hear some voices. I recognize them as Aya's and ... Suzuki's. Suzuki? What is he doing here?  
  
I can help my curiosity and peek inside the kitchen. There I see Aya ... is hugging Suzuki ... in a very intimate way. I gasp and the mug slips from my hand, meeting with the floor. It breaks instantly. They turn their head towards me and gasp as well.  
  
"Ken-kun ..."  
  
TBC   
  
A/N : A little bit longer than usual. Oh well, I can't help it.  
So it's getting clearer (or more complicated? --). I want to say  
thank you to all the reviewers. Keep reviewing, onegai? pleading eye  
. I can't say much here. Don't know what to say actually. Anyway,  
thank you very much!! R & R please. 


	6. Realization

() the change of POV  
Special  
By Misaki Sakura  
  
Chapter 6 : Realization  
  
"Ken-kun!"  
  
"Ken-san!"  
  
I open my mouth slightly but nothing comes out. Aya and Suzuki don't say anything too. I bend to collect the scattered glasses and throw them to the recycle bin. Still, there's no voice heard.  
  
"Sorry." I whisper to her and run upstairs to get my things. Ran is surprised when I suddenly barge into his room which is still as dark as before.  
  
"Ken, what ha ..."  
  
He stops, seeing my tears run down my cheeks. I rub at them roughly before yanking my jacket on. He doesn't say anything even as I start walking to the door. Then I feel my body is being turned around to face him. Seeing his eyes makes me can't hold my tears any longer. They once again make their way down my cheeks. He raises his hand to wipe them slowly.  
  
I can't help myself but to sob on his shoulder while he strokes my hair gently. His other hand has left my wrist and instead is wound around my waist. I don't have any intention to pull away from him or push him. No. I want him with me. I ...  
  
"You know it, don't you, Ran? You know it, don't you?! About Aya and Su ... zuki ..."  
  
"Yes."  
  
"Why didn't you tell me?! You know my feelings!! You know it!!"  
"Yes, I know."  
  
"Then why didn't you tell me?! Why did you make me hoping for her?! Why?!" I sink down to the floor. My arms slumps beside me.  
  
He sits in front of me, hugs me while whispering comforting words to my ears at the same time. Those words keep spinning inside my head like mantra. Why can't she love me? Why didn't she tell me before? Why didn't Ran tell me before? Why did he keep this a secret from me? To mock me? To watch me fly to the cloud nine and then slammed to the deepest part of the earth? Why did he say that he love me? Why does it have to be like this? Why?!  
  
He's asleep. After he cried all over me and murmured incoherently to himself, he's finally asleep. I lift him up and lay him on my bed. I know that I'm sick and I need rest but he needs rest more than I do. Aya ... and I have given him too much trouble.  
  
"Ken, I'm sorry."  
  
I kiss him lightly before I walk out of my room. Aya's standing in front of me.  
  
"Where's Ken-kun?"  
  
"Sleeping."  
  
"I'm sorry, nii-chan."  
  
"There's nothing to be sorry for. It's okay, Aya. He'll overcome this. He's strong. Just give him time to think and settle himself."  
  
"Okay, nii-chan."  
  
She runs down the stairs and sends Suzuki home. I take a piece of blanket from Aya's closet and walk back to my room. He's still sleeping. The tears have dried and make trails on his smooth cheeks. I kiss his eyelid gently.  
  
"Oyasumi, Ken."  
  
I wake up at the sound of the birds chirping outside. Too lazy to open my eyes, I bury my face deep into the pillow. Sweet scent. Warm and sweet scent. The bed and the pillow are softer than mine. They're ...not ... mine. I jerk myself up as the realization hits me and look around the room I've slept in. This is ... this is Ran's room!!  
  
"You're awake, Ken?" his voice cut through the silence in the room.  
  
"Ra ... Ran ..., I ..."  
  
I look at him. He's sitting on the sofa in his room. A blanket is carefully folded at the end of it. He was sleeping ... on the couch?! He let me slept in his bed ... while he slept at the couch. I slept in his bed. Somehow this thought makes a blush across my cheeks.  
  
"Are you feeling okay?"  
  
"That question is supposed to go to you! Ran, you're sick! You can't sleep there! You should've waked me up!"  
  
He gets up and walks towards me. Hesitating a bit, he then sits next to me on his bed. Not too close but close enough to make me blush again. I really have to stop blushing near him.  
  
"But I didn't. I couldn't bring myself to do that. Ken, ... I'm sorry. You're right. I should've told you about Aya from the beginning ... even though I myself has just found it out ... that night ... before I came to your apartment ..."  
  
"Oh ..."  
  
"And that makes me feel guiltier. I'm sorry, Ken. About Aya and ..."  
  
"It's okay. I should've given up about Aya but I didn't. That's such a fool of me. I should've known better that no one would ever want me. No one would." I feel like sobbing again. He reaches for me and takes me into his embrace.  
  
"I want you."  
  
"Eh?" I look up to find his eyes peering down at me intensely. His amethyst eyes glimmer in the ray of sun light that shines into the room. He looks really solemn.  
  
"I want you. Don't say that no one wants you 'cause I know I do. You're special, Ken."  
  
"I am not ... I am not ... I can do nothing, Ran."  
  
"Yes, you can. You always make people laugh no matter how depressed you are. You are good with kids. And ... you bring the light back to my life."  
  
"Ran?"  
  
He doesn't say anything. So do I. Tears threaten to spill again but I let them. I let them soak Ran's shirt for the second time in only several hours.  
  
"I ... I've always wanted to tell you ... about my feelings, but ... I didn't expect it to be like that. I mean ... I didn't mean too. I'm sorry, Ken."  
  
I snuggle closer to him. What am I doing? Am I no afraid that he'll ...? Somehow I know that he won't.  
  
A month has passed since that day in my room. He is more open to me now. We usually spend our lunch break chatting under the tree at the school yard. I don't know if he has overcome his sadness but at least he is willing to talk to me ... a little about Aya. Like today. As usual, I wait for him, sitting on the bench reading the book I just borrowed from the library.  
  
"Ran, what is that?"  
  
He sits beside me, stuffing himself with the sandwich he bought at the cafeteria earlier. "I borrowed it from the library." I say, handing it to him.  
  
"It's ... a poem book," he says after he reads the first page.  
  
"I don't know you like poem." He gives it to me and continues eating his sandwich.  
  
"Are you interested too?"  
  
"Nah. I'm not into poem or literature. Say, Ran ... aren't you going to eat anything? Aren't you hungry or something?"  
  
"I ate noodles before I came." My eyes do not leave my book.  
  
"That's for breakfast, right?! No wonder you're so thin."  
  
"Hn."  
  
"What do you want to eat? I'll buy it for you."  
  
"It's okay, Ken. I'm not hungry." I close the book and smile at him. He blushes. I know he tries to hide it but it's no use. I've seen it. He's cute when he blushes like that.  
  
"Ne, Ran," his head's bent down, "I've given up ... about Aya. I know that she doesn't like me. Ran ... I try very hard to talk to her but I can't. I don't know why but I can't say anything in front of her. I don't want it to be like this."  
  
"I know. It's not your fault. You're hurt. Don't push yourself. Believe me, there's going to be a day when you can look at them in the eyes and smile. You just have to wait. First you must overcome your sadness, then you can face them."  
  
"Do you really think so? I mean ... you're not angry because I ... to your sister ..."  
  
"No, I'm not. It's ... our fault that you feel like this. If we had told you from the beginning ..."  
  
He smiles at me. From that smile, I know that he's not angry with me. I'm glad. Still, I don't have enough courage to bring up the subject about that Kudou. I'm desperate to know what he is to Ken. Are they in any term of relationship right now? I don't think so cause Ken's still settling his feelings for Aya. So ...  
  
"You're here, Kenken."  
  
Kudou Youji. He grabs Ken's wrist and yanks him up. "Itai! Youji, what are you doing?!"  
  
"I need to talk to you." He peeks a glance at me then glares back at Ken. "Now!!"  
  
"I'm ... Fine!! I'm sorry, Ran. We'll talk tomorrow, ne." he waves at me while Youji drags him to the school entrance. Youji seems so mad. Maybe he doesn't like the fact that Ken can talk to me now. Jealous?  
  
"Okay, what is it?"  
  
Youji grabs my wrist tighter, making me wince. It hurts! "Ken, did you call him?"  
  
"No. He called me."  
  
"Why did you tell him that I'm here?"  
  
"Don't you think that even if I lie, he will find it out sooner or later and he will be very mad at me? I don't want to be dragged into your problem, Youji. Besides, he has the right to know." I try to calm him down. Okay, I made a mistake but ... can't he be a little gentler? I think my wrist is going to crack. Finally he releases me and let go a sigh of defeat.  
  
"Shit!! Ken, I know that I'm the one who will be blamed! Ken, he is going to come!! Omi is going to come here!!"  
  
"What?!"  
  
Alas, my problems are getting bigger and bigger. What have I done to deserve this?! Oh, kami, please, please stop tormenting me. Youji is enough. Why does he have to come too?! What must I do now?!  
  
TBC   
  
A/N : It's Omi's turn!! I've decided that he's gonna be Youji's  
boyfriend from the beginning and now I'm glad that he's finally going  
to appear in this story. This story is developing ... somehow. What do  
you think? Ran x Ken? Ken x Aya? Youji x Ken? Youji x Omi? Or the  
worst Youji x Ran? He he I have my own best pairings, still I want to  
know what you guys think. R&R please! 


	7. Denial

() the change of POV  
Special  
By Misaki Sakura  
  
Chapter 7 : Denial  
  
Omi takes out his cell phone from his pocket and call the number he knows very well. When he hears the other end picks up, he opens his mouth a bit dejected.  
  
"Youji-kun, pick me up. No, I've waited long enough. I want you to pick me up now. We'll talk after you come. Teacher's meeting?! Since when do you care about those kinds of things?! Don't make any more excuses. I'll be waiting for you here for twenty minutes. If you don't come, I'll make sure you regret it for the rest of your life." He hangs up.  
  
"Shit!!" Youji slams his cell phone onto the table. I watch him swearing and cursing. He takes his cigarette and lights it up. "Kenken, you have to help me." He turns to face me.  
  
"And why is that?"  
  
"You're the one who told him that I'm here!!"  
  
"Youji, Omi is not stupid. Both of you always run to me whenever you have a fight. It's easy for him to tell."  
  
The door's opened. Ran walks in and sits beside me. You see, Youji wasn't lying when he said that there's a teacher's meeting. The part he lied was that he wants to attend it. He has to attend this meeting but he said he would skip. So Omi's phone call makes him change his mind.  
  
"What are we going to discuss anyway?"  
  
Ran answers him with a very calm expression yet I can see amusement in his beautiful eyes. "About teaching method and everything that has to do with it."  
  
Youji sweat drops. Guess that's not his subject, is that? I hold back laughter as I see him drop his head on the table and sighs loudly.  
  
"Phew. I thought I was going to rot here." Youji rests his head on the table.  
  
There are only three of us left in this room. Ran doesn't say anything but I know he's waiting for me. He promises to treat me ice cream today. I don't know why he suddenly wants to do that. I mean, I've heard from A ... ya that her brother, how to say, stingy. He always saves his salary and never shops unless she forces him too. So this must be a miracle then. It's like ... a date? Where did that word come from? Still, I can do nothing but to feel happy.  
  
"Youji, I think it'd be better if you pick Omi up before he ..."  
  
Before I can finish my sentence, the teacher's room door sprang open to reveal a very infuriated Omi. He clenches and unclenches his fists, panting. I take a step back. He looks so ... dangerous. Youji's not going to live after Omi's through with him.  
  
"YOUJI-KUN!! I think I've told you to PICK ME UP!! Are those words too hard for you to COMPREHEND?!" he grabs Youji by the collar. His voice's echoing in the room. I try as much as I can to stop myself from laughing my lungs out.  
  
"But Omi, I've told you, I have this teacher's meeting." Youji says as calm as he can. Omi is a very composed person most of the times. I say most of the times because when it involves Youji ... you know what I mean. And Youji, more than anyone, knows that this time Omi is seriously furious.  
  
"Huh! You're too busy flirting with the teachers!" he turns at me and smiles, "Hi, Ken-kun! It's good to see you!"  
  
"Omi! It's good to see you too! How have you been doing?"  
  
"I've been doing just fine. Except for this creature that keeps tormenting me all the time." He eyes Youji dangerously.  
  
"Oi! What's that supposed to mean?!"  
  
"Oh, Omi, this is Fujimiya Ran. He's our coworker." I say, introducing him a very confused Ran beside me.  
  
"Nice to meet you, Fujimiya-san." He offers his hand which Ran shakes slowly. "Nice to meet you too, ...er..."  
  
"Tsukiyono Omi. But feel free to call me Omi." He answers genkily.  
  
"Um, Omi ... Ran and I have to get going ... so ..."  
  
"It's okay!! You two have fun, ne!" he adds to himself but loud enough for us to hear, "While I take care of Youji-kun."  
  
I laugh and drag Ran to the nearest Baskin and Robins stall.  
  
I look up to see Ken starts licking his choco chip ice cream. Somehow seeing him like that cause a shiver runs down to my spine. I divert my gaze to the window. Then, curiosity hits me.  
  
"Ken, who's that ... Omi?"  
  
"Youji's boyfriend." He answers simply.  
  
On the other hand, I'm shocked. "Kudou's boyfriend?!"  
  
"Uh huh." He nods. "They've been living in America since two years ago. When they have a fight, they always come to me. No, not for advice of course. Maybe they want me to listen to them, that's all. Anyway, Youji has this big fight with Omi that causes him to run here. Unfortunately, Omi isn't called 'Youji's precious assistant' for nothing, so he finds out. You know the rest. Actually I don't really like the fact he's coming. He's a well-composed kid usually but when it related to Youji ... "  
  
I nod in agreement. I myself have the impression that somehow he is going to be very scary when he's mad. Kudou'd better be careful. "What do you mean 'Youji's assistant'? Why does he need an assistant for?"  
  
"Oh, he's actually a detective there. He said he wants a change so he tries to work at Koua. But I think it's actually just his way to get close to the teachers here."  
  
"So ... how did you happen to know them?"  
  
He eyes me confusedly. "Didn't I tell you? Youji is my stepbrother."  
  
"What?!"  
  
He licks his ice cream once more before answering, "Yes. My mother married his father when I was five or so, three years after my father died. But it didn't turn out good, so they divorced."  
  
"Oh ..."  
  
I feel so stupid. All this time I feel jealous over him for nothing. But that Kudou ... he seems to enjoy this .... He knows my feelings and he thinks it's funny to keep this a secret to see me jealous. I don't like that guy, even though somehow he's related to Ken. I hope that guy ... Omi ... will do something that'll make him ...  
  
"Ran ..."  
  
"Hn?"  
  
I am not prepared for what's going to happen next. The next thing I know ... feel is Ken's lips lay upon mine. They stay there for a very short fifty seconds before he pushes himself away from me and falls backwards.  
  
He silences after I told him about Youji. Hey, I didn't mean to keep this a secret but Youji didn't let me telling him. I don't know why I listened to him before. Maybe because he thinks it's funny cause ... Ran is ... jea ...  
  
No! Okay, stop this, Ken! Ran is a friend, yeah, a friend. Yes, something did happen before but it's past. A past is a past. We're friends now and I don't want this to develop into something more ... do I? I want to settle my feelings for Aya before I ... before I ... fall ... for ...  
  
I gulp. Doubtfully, I peek a glance at Ran. He's looking at nothing in particular, but ... I ...  
  
I don't know what make me do this but I feel myself calling him ... leaning closer to him and before I could stop myself, I find myself kissing him. It feels so good ...  
  
Realization strikes me. I push myself away from him, causing me to land on the ground. Without even looking at him anymore, I run as fast as I can.  
  
Breathing heavily, I rummage through my pocket to look for my apartment key. It's no need though cause Youji has opened it, causing me to jump backwards.  
  
"Kenken! You're early."  
  
I can't say anything to answer him. Instead, I run to my room and lock myself there.  
  
What was I thinking?!! Why did I kiss him?! Why?! It's not like I like him ... I like him?!  
  
"Ken-kun, are you okay?"  
  
"I ... I ..." I can't even answer him!!  
  
"Ken-kun? I'm coming in." he slowly turns the door knob and walks in. Youji follows behind him.  
  
"Ken-kun, are you alright?" he eyes me concernedly. Omi is a very good person when he is not angry, especially to Youji. I wonder if Ran will be like this too to me if we ... What am I thinking?!  
  
"Ken, if you continue hitting your head like that," he pauses, grabbing my hand that's making its way to my forehead again, "you'll get a bump on your head."  
  
"Huh?"  
  
"Omi, what will we do to him? Take him to the mental hospital?"  
  
"Youji-kun!!"  
  
"I'm fine, Youji, Omi." I manage to croak out.  
  
"I don't think so, Ken-kun. You're face's flushed. Do you get a fever?" he places his hand on my forehead to check my temperature, but Youji knows better. He's the expert, huh?  
  
"Nah, Omi. He's not sick. He's love struck."  
  
"What do you mean, Youji-kun?"  
  
He grins at me. I glare at him, trying to tell him not to ever dare opening his mouth. But when does Youji listen to me?  
  
"That Fujimiya guy, he loves Ken. And now I think he's in love with him too."  
  
"Youji!!!" I throw my pillow at him ... which he can dodge perfectly. Sometimes I need to do something to him. Can't he see that I'm in a middle of a crisis?! Well, if you think that love problem is a crisis, that is.  
  
"Fujimiya-san? He looks like a good person. Have you told him?"  
  
"Told him what?"  
  
"That you love him." He says innocently.  
  
"Omi! I don't love him!!" I tell him that but whom to convince? Him or myself?  
  
"Ken-kun ..."  
  
"Let's leave him alone for now, Omi. Let him think." Youji drags Omi out of my room, ignoring his protests.  
  
Think ... What does he want me to think? It's not like I have anything to think about except ... Ran. But I want to avoid that subject. Denial? Maybe. I'm a coward ... but to know what I'm feeling for him is hard, especially after I've just given up about his sister. What must I do?!  
  
TBC   
  
A/N : Thank you very much for the reviews! This fic is Ran x Ken. I  
won't make pairings other than what I like. I like Ran x Ken, Youji x  
Omi, and Brad x Schu for Weiss. Gomen ... hontou ni gomen ne cause  
they're too OOC in this fic. Omi and Youji won't come out much after  
this. I'll be focusing on Ran and Ken. R&R please!! 


	8. Decision

() the change of POV  
Special  
By Misaki Sakura  
  
Chapter 8 : Decision  
  
It's been two months since that day at the park and since then he's been avoiding me. Every time we meet, he'll either try to look busy or starts making conversation with anyone, anyone but me. He's in denial ... maybe. That's what I try to feed my mind with. A thought of a broken heart. I'm pathetic but who aren't after being kissed by the one they love and being avoided for two months after that?! Two whole damn months!! I'm not only pathetic, I'm frustrated! But I won't let anyone know. Not even Aya.  
  
Youji is quitting his job at Koua so he gets a new teacher who is one of the cause why this gets so complicated. She seems to have a crush on me and she doesn't even bother to hide it. I think she could declare it to everyone about her undying love for me. I hate it, I really do. She pesters me around the school. I usually arrive there at twelve to check if everything is okay but after her arrival, I try as best as I can to come at the nick of time. It's not like me but I need to avoid her cause ever since she arrived, Ken is nowhere to be seen. I won't be surprised if it's Ken's request to Youji for her to work here. It's his way to show me how much he despises me, loathes me. If he didn't, why would he make her approaches me with her high-pitched voice?  
  
Youji went home to America with Omi two weeks ago. Before that, he had called me. I think it's a week before they left. He only said, "Take good care of Ken. If then I know that you make him cry, I swear I'm gonna make you suffer for the rest of your life!" Maybe it's his way to show his encouragement to me. But that doesn't mean that Ken will actually want me.  
  
"Fujimiya-sensei ..."  
  
"Yes?"  
  
"I'm sorry to bother you but aren't you supposed to go to the dojo now?" she says, giggling.  
I glance at my watch and let out a sigh. "Yes, excuse me, Sakura- sensei."  
  
All I can think right now is walk out of this room as fast as I can. What is she doing here? Usually, medical teachers don't spend much time in the teacher's room. With long stride, I make my way to the dojo with her tailing me.  
  
I watch the clouds glide slowly in the sky. Sighing, I lay myself on the hard floor, feeling the coldness touches my skin. Two months ... and every time I remember how stupid I was to kiss him and leave him like that. It's not like it was bad ... and it's not like I know how good kisses like but I know that that was good. Maybe that's because finally, finally, I have the courage to admit that I like him. No, I don't love him, just like. Simple likeness between friends. ... Lame, huh? I'm a coward, I know.  
  
I know very well that it's rude to suggest another person to someone who has said that he loved you but I don't know what to do!! I manage to persuade Youji to call his friend here. Her name is Tomoe Sakura or so. I've heard that she like Ran but I don't have any idea that she can be so ... Let's just say that wherever Ran is, she is there too. Hiding behind the bushes or behind the door. Can you call that obsessed?  
  
Well, at least she is serious about him. It'd be better with someone who loves you than with someone whom you love, isn't it? I think it'd be better if you can get someone who loves you and vice-versa. It's just too hard to get.  
  
Do you ever think that he or she is 'the one'? I've asked Youji about that for ... I don't know, I can't recall it. He usually answered me with a shrug, but that's before he met Omi. When I ask him after that, he answers with determination and certainty. "Yes, he is the one."  
  
For me, those words mean more and I bet he feels that too. Yes, he is the one he'll be with forever. Yes, he'll be the one he loves for the rest of his life. If Omi hears this, I bet he'll jump in excitement since Youji never says that in front of his face before. Youji and Omi, weird but I like them.  
  
Were they feeling this when they first met? No, maybe not. But did they feel ... or try to deny their feelings for each other? I should've asked them. I have thought of it but then I decided not to. It would surely lead us to an inevitable discussion about me and Ran and so on. I don't want to talk about it, at least for now.  
  
I can't talk about him, so how am I supposed to face him?! I've been running away from him for two whole damn months!! I've told you before, I'm a coward. Youji and Omi says to me every day, "Go, Ken." "Ganbatte, Ken- kun." Or in Youji's style, "You need to get laid." They don't understand! How can I face him when he places those piercing, not to mention beautiful, amethyst eyes on me?!  
  
Somehow, I always feel this tinge of pain when I see him with that ... that ... Sakura. I hate to see them eating on the same table in the canteen. I hate to see them chatting, even though it's very rare to see them like that. I hate to see them walking side by side or when Sakura pestering him. I hat seeing them together! Does that mean I'm jealous?  
  
Why now? Why him? Why does it have to be Ran? I like his sister before but I don't think that has something to do with him. I was attracted to him when I first met him, before I met Aya. Red hair, violet eyes, white skin ... hell, who didn't?! It's only a mere attraction, nothing special. Did I like Aya because I knew she is his sister? Then ... does that mean I ...  
  
"Ken ..."  
  
I like it when he says my name. He says it so tenderly and sweetly, like just now ... just now?!  
  
"Ken ..."  
  
"Ra ... Ran ... what are you doing here?" I stand up abruptly, knocking my head on the railing as I let out a loud cry. "Ouch!! That hurts!"  
  
"Are you okay, Ken?" he reaches out for me but reflexively I slap his hand away. His eyes dimmed and I can see hurt and disappointment in them but he quickly brushes them away.  
  
"So ... sorry ... I'm okay ..."  
  
"I didn't expect to see you here, Ken. What are you doing here?"  
  
"I ... was thinking, but it's okay. I'll go now."  
  
I walk pass him to the door and stop when I feel his grip on my wrist. "No, please stay."  
  
I don't know why but when I heard him saying that, I feel my eyes welled with tears. Confusedly I wipe them with my free hand and let him take me to the side of the railing. I never thought I would see him here, on the school roof. It's always been my favourite place when I want to have my own thinking session. Guess I'm not the only one though.  
  
"I have something to tell you, Ken." he tightens his grip on my hand as if to avoid me from running away. "I ..."  
  
"Ran, I'm sorry. I shouldn't have done that. It's ... my fault. I'm sorry, but it meant nothing. Please, ... forgive me."  
  
I'm choking back sobs. I can feel him stiffen and his grip on me loosens. I feel awful, I really do. I'm running away again, from him and from myself. Slowly, I encourage myself to gaze at his eyes and see him glaring at me. Very ... scary ... I can't run!! My feet weaken and start to give way but I manage to keep myself steady by holding the railing tightly as if it's my life that I can't let go.  
  
"Ran ... I ..."  
  
He doesn't let me finish my sentence as he tilts my head up and silences me with his lips. I'm too stunned to react. As soon as I realize what's happening, I try to push him ... hard ... but I can't. He holds both my hands behind my back as he keeps kissing me forcefully. This reminds me about the incident before. I'm ... scared. I'm scared of him. I feel my eyes sting again and my tears flow down my cheeks as I let out a whimper.  
  
He releases me soon after that and whispers, "Sayonara, Ken." before he leaves me alone, sobbing.  
  
"So what are you going to do, nii-chan? Are you going to accept it?"  
  
We're eating our dinner when Aya suddenly decided to talk about that topic ... again. "I've made my own decision. Otoo-san and okaa-san don't seem to mind."  
  
"I do! What are you going to do with Ken-san? You're not planning to leave him, are you?! Are you, nii-chan?!"  
  
"That's what he wants, Aya, for me to go." I take her plates and mine to the sink. She stomps her feet and says, "That's not what he wants, nii- chan! Can't you see?!"  
  
"All I can see is he hates me and I have to go."  
  
"But ..."  
  
"That's enough, Aya! I don't want to talk about this!" I slam the plates on the sink and glare at her. She surprised but maintains her glare at me too. We stay in silence for minutes before she finally let out a sigh and decides, for her own good, to leave me alone.  
  
I glace at the plates and only see their pieces. I cut my finger with one of them. It bleeds ... it bleeds just like the bleeding in my heart. It hurts so much ... Ken.  
  
I love him, I don't love him, I love him, I don't love him ... I do love him. It's hard to admit it. No, I don't love him. Yes, you love him and stop talking to yourself. That voice from the back of my head says that to me again and again.  
  
Since that time on the roof, I've never seen Ran anymore. I keep asking myself ... what is he doing? Is he feeling alright? Why doesn't he come? Will he come tomorrow? I want to see him. I can't ask Aya ... I'm not that brave. But I still want to see him and I don't know how to do it.  
  
I can't come into his house and say, "Hello, Ran. How are you? Are you okay? Hey, I miss you so much." and so on after I told him that that kiss meant nothing for me! Probably he'll take his katana and slice me up with that.  
  
I have to think of better way. Ask Sakura ... No, I'll be damned. But there's no other way, isn't there? Sighing, I drag my feet to the infirmary. As I set my feet in front of the door, I can hear a loud cry coming from inside. Sakura's voice.  
  
"Whyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy??????"  
  
How many decibels does her voice have?! Does she want to make all the windows in this building shatter into pieces?! I slide the door open and tap her shoulder. "Excuse me, Sakura-sen ..."  
  
"Whyyyyyyyy???!!! Why does he leave me?!"  
  
"Anou, Sakura-sensei ... what do you mean?"  
  
"Ran ... he's ..."  
  
"Yes, Mister Crawford. I'm looking forward to it. Yes, I know. I have all I need there. Okay, I'm looking forward to it. Yes. We'll discuss that there. Yes, thank you, Mister Crawford. I'll go to New York."  
  
TBC   
A/N : Okay, this is it! They're separating. Actually, this story is  
longer than I expected but ... it's okay, isn't it? Do you like this  
chapter? Maybe I should've put angst as the second genre. Okay, next  
chapter is going to be the last one ... I hope. Fine, it's going to be  
the last chapter but maybe I'll make an epilogue ... or not. Anyway,  
please R&R!! I'll be very gladly to read the reviews! 


	9. Ending

() the change of POV

**Special**

**By Misaki Sakura**

Chapter 9 : Ending 

I feel as if a huge lump has blocked my mouth as I can't find anything to say. He's leaving ... to America. That's too far! That means ... I can't see him everyday like I usually do. I can't talk to him like I did before. I can't ...

I have wasted my time thinking about this all day without doing anything to make a change between us. But what's needed to be changed? Me or him? I don't know and I guess I'll never know if he leaves. He'll leave me.

Sakura-sensei told me that he had found a job there. A friend helps him. I have to ask Youji about this. I know Youji would tell me first if he were the one who did this. Maybe I can ask him to find out about his friend ... what am I doing?! Suddenly I act like a jealous boyfriend. ... or probably just say I act like a disappointed boyfriend who is going to be dumped. He's not even my boyfriend.

Maybe that's what he was going to tell me when he met me on the roof ... about a week ago. Why didn't I wait for him to talk?

"Hidaka-sensei, are you alright?"

"Sakura-sensei, when will he leave?"

"To ... tomorrow I guess ..."

"Thank's." I whisper. I don't have any energy to talk ... to walk ... even to breathe. Slowly I walk out of the infirmary. So that's why he hasn't come recently. He must've been preparing for his departure. He's leaving ...

Those words keep haunting me, repeating over and over in my head like chanting a mantra, so I don't know when suddenly I feel someone taps my shoulder.

"Ken-kun, we need to talk."

Without waiting for my answer, Aya drags me to the nearest classroom and force me to sit in one of the chairs. I glance at my watch, 5 o' clock. No wonder the class is empty.

"Ken-kun, first I want to apologize ... about me and Suzuki."

I keep silence, waiting for her to continue. I can't guess where this conversation leads us but I'm eager to know it. She takes a deep breath and holds my shoulders tightly. "You like my brother, don't you?"

I'm so ... stunned, confused ... give me one word that can match this situation. "I ..."

"I'm not here to listen to your denials, Ken-kun. I want to tell you that my brother is leaving. Do you know?"

"Yes, I've heard from Sakura-sensei."

"So? What are you going to do, Ken-kun? Aren't you going to stop him from leaving?"

"I can't, Aya. I have no right to do it. Besides, he'll only listen to you. Why would he listen to me?"

"Ken-kun, I've tried to talk to him about this but he snapped at me. And it's all because of you! If you hadn't rejected him, he wouldn't have gone. You have to do something."

I let her words sink before I shake my head sadly. "I can't. I can't, Aya. I don't want to ... I don't want to hurt him ... and myself ..."

Just the second I close my mouth, she slaps me ... hard. I rub my stinging cheek. "Aya..."

"You're a coward, Ken-kun. You're no different than my brother! I want you two to stop worrying about little things like that and have the courage to tell how you feel for each other. You're afraid to be hurt?! Ran-niichan is hurt, Ken-kun!"

He's hurt?! What about me?! You don't know it, Aya. I can't stop myself when I hear I yell at her. "You don't know what he had done to me!!"

_The worst way to miss someone is to be sitting right beside them knowing that they are not yours to have._ I've read that before somewhere. First I don't know if it's right or what. I never felt love after she betrayed me. Now I know that truth of those words. It hurts ... it hurts me so much that I feel I want to ... die ...

I can't see Ken. I won't see him before I leave cause it'll only make me feel worse. I have thought about this over and over since Mr. Crawford asked me to work with him in New York. First, I couldn't leave Aya cause she was too young to be left alone. But now she has grown up and she has Suzuki with her. She'll be okay. That leaves ... Ken. Actually he's the main reason why I'm leaving.

Looking outside the window, I close my eyes, feeling the winter breeze washes over me. It's in the middle of winter and opening the window like this is crazy, but I like the feeling of the snow touches my skin, the wind ... I don't know why but I like them. Winter ... Ken's birthday is coming. I think it's 23 December ... I'll be in New York at that time.

I hesitate before pulling out a pen from inside my agenda, take a paper and start writing. I don't have any idea what to write but I know I have to, at least, tell him about how I feel, guessing that maybe I won't see him again. Twirling my pen in my hand, I think of what to write. Apologize, of course. Confession, ... that'll be the best.

_I'm going to miss you, Ken. I never say it to you in a more ... decent occasion but ... I love you. Think I'm a coward, don't you? I'm a fool to make you sad before ... suffer because of what I've done to you. I'm sorry. I won't make you sad ... I won't make you cry again. Sayonara, Ken. I hope you'll be happy._

I read and reread it but the words can hardly sink into my head. I'm running away. Is this the best solution for my problem? Our problem? You can't get over Aya, can you, Ken? You loved her and probably you still love her now.

I decide to add another word to my letter before I fold it and put it inside my favourite poetry book. I'll tell Aya to give this to Ken. All my feelings, my life ... I hope the best for him.

"You can't forgive him, can you?"

"It's not that but I'd be lying if I told you I never felt like that. I don't know ... I don't ... you know ... I don't hate him but I ... don't know ... love him or ... friends and ... others ..."

"Ken-kun, it's obvious that you feel something for my brother. Tell him. He'll be leaving tomorrow. Maybe that's going to be your last chance to tell him." Aya looks at me pleadingly. It hurts, deep inside it hurts but why, I don't know. Is it because Aya force me to ... confess or because of the fact that Ran is leaving?

"I ... please, Aya, don't force me."

Sighing, she gives me a hug. "Sorry, I just want you happy, Ken-kun, together with my brother."

"It's okay, Aya. Thank's."

"Oh yeah, I almost forgot. Here, Ran told me to give you this."

I took the book from her hand and open the first page. That's when I notice something fell down. I pick it up and held it close to my face.

"Aya, what's-"

But Aya is nowhere to be seen.

The sun hasn't risen yet and I'm already lost in my thought. This is probably the last time I set my feet on Japan. Am I regretting this? No, I can't be. Perhaps ... perhaps he'll forgive me.

I couldn't sleep last night and I can't concentrate on anything. The question keeps repeating over and over in my head. Do I love Ran? If yes is the answer, why can't I tell him? If no ... I don't want to lose him.

_How can you be so stupid? _My conscience kicks in. I hate it when it does that, but it's also a part of me. I'm getting flustered here. Whatever.

_You love him, you moron! Why can't you admit it?! Is our little Kenken getting scared? _That sounds so much like Youji. I thought I had stopped talking to myself since I quitted the League. Now it's coming back at me in full force. I hate it.

_Admit it!_ Like hell I will! But I can do nothing to make you shut up, can't I? Fine! I like him! No, I **love** him! Happy?!

If I continue any of these, I'll get mad. Okay, it finally shuts up. Now, my feelings ... yes, I love him, though I've been in denial for so ... too long. I admit it. I'm in love with Fujimiya Ran. I really don't know why I didn't realize this earlier. It's not love at first sight but well ... sorta.

I bring myself up and decide something that I should've done long time ago. I'm going to confess to him.

"Good bye, nii-chan." Aya hugs me tightly.

"Good bye, Aya-chan." I let her go. She comes with Suzuki and that Sakura-sensei but I can't see Ken anywhere. Where is he? Hasn't he forgiven me yet? Or it's about that kiss ...?

"The flight number 740 to New York will be departed soon. To all the passengers, please board the plane. I repeat, the flight ..."

"I have to go."

Aya nods and pecks me on the cheek. I wave her goodbye and am about to leave when I hear someone's calling me.

"Ran! Wait!!"

I see Ken runs towards me, his brown locks are strewn on his face. I wait ... probably he's here to say goodbye or maybe ... he has forgiven me. I don't know what I'm waiting.

"Ran, I ..." he pants after his long run. Sweat's trickling down his face. I want to run my finger along his smooth cheek, hold him and never let him go again, but is that possible?

"Ran, I ... gomen, I shouldn't have waited this long but I need to tell you ... aishiteru, Ran, zutto."

He whispers the last part with the voice that's barely audible but loud enough for me to hear. My heart jumps. Did he say what I think he said?

Seeing Ken bending his head to avoid my gaze, I know right away that it's not a dream. That Ken **did** say that to me. Oh, God. After all the waiting ... at last ...

I do the first thing that comes into mind at the sight of Ken in front of me. I pull him into my embrace, running my hand through his soft hair as I hear him gasps. Suddenly, nothing seems to matter for me with Ken in my arms. And I know I can keep him there forever.

_OWARI_

A/N: Finally the last chapter!! I don't know, maybe this is one of my bad habit. I just can't write the story when it comes to the end. I don't know why but it really takes me long time to finish this one. Gomen nasai, minna!! Well, I hope I can continue my other fanfiction soon enough, starts with 'Fallen Angel'. Jya! See you in my next fanfic!


End file.
